Questions you just can't answer!

SeeJay · Post by **SeeJay** » Tue Feb 28, 2012 7:57 am

- Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?

- Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

- Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

- Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

- Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

- Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

- What is the speed of darkness?

- Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

- If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

- Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

- How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Â

Did you ever stop and wonder.......

- Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?' Â

- Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'

- Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

- Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

- Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

- Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs ! Â

- If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Â

- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? Â

- If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Â

- Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on...... Â

- Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Â

- Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

- Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Now, stop laughing and get back to work!!

Post by **DaveK** » Tue Feb 28, 2012 9:13 am

Thanks - that's cheered up a dreary day!

Raynor · Post by **Raynor** » Tue Feb 28, 2012 10:55 am

- What is the speed of darkness?

As fast as the speed of light technically. Darkness would take over as fast as the light is receding.

- Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Probably because if your bread was frozen solid, you'd need that setting.

- Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Not true. My dog (R.I.P) would just lick the air that was coming out of my mouth. As if it tasted something....maybe it did, but i'd rather not think about it.

Malix · Post by **Malix** » Tue Feb 28, 2012 12:45 pm

Tuna can has a picture of tuna on the side, its only logical that it contains tuna, right? Dog food has pictures of dogs. (I've also wondered about pictures of animals in toilet paper packaging...)
Why do we always look the results after blowing our noses

Maarschalk · Post by **Maarschalk** » Tue Feb 28, 2012 1:23 pm

I love these relativistic questions and I could relatively elaborate extensively on each one of them with a relativistic answer that is related to the physics of relativity....relatively speaking that is.

1. One example the dog who hates it when you blow in its face is relatively related to what you ate or where your face has recently been and if he likes what he smells and hear and senses coming from your face!......

:P

Post by **Marvin** » Tue Feb 28, 2012 8:40 pm

- Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'

Whoever it was, for her sake let's hope the next thing turned out to be an egg.

mikeuk · Post by **mikeuk** » Tue Feb 28, 2012 8:53 pm

Good ones SeeJay thanks:D

Malix · Post by **Malix** » Wed Feb 29, 2012 8:35 am

- Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'

I kinda wonder who had the brilliant idea of eating moldy cheese in the first place, and then went and invented these:
- blue cheese (or any cheese with mold)
- cheese with maggots (wiki)

I can't but to wonder if it went about like this "awww man, the cheese doesn't look good, but I'm too cheap to throw it away. Hey this side looks less moldy/maggotty, lets try if it doesn't taste THAT bad"

and ofc then there's the horror know as surstrÃ¶mming ... and now that I have read the wiki-article, I can't help but weep as my countrymen were involved in this.

Post by **DaveK** » Thu Mar 01, 2012 6:16 pm

From post: 132159, Topic: tid=9015, author=Malix wrote:[quote]
I kinda wonder who had the brilliant idea of eating moldy cheese in the first place, and then went and invented these:
- blue cheese (or any cheese with mold)
- cheese with maggots (wiki)

I can't but to wonder if it went about like this "awww man, the cheese doesn't look good, but I'm too cheap to throw it away. Hey this side looks less moldy/maggotty, lets try if it doesn't taste THAT bad"

and ofc then there's the horror know as
surstrÃ¶mming ... and now that I have read the wiki-article, I can't help but weep as my countrymen were involved in this.

Mouldy cheese? - someone who was starving (literally) or p#ssed or for a macho dare

rotten fish? - could it be anything to do with the fact that it was developed in an area of the world where nighttime lasts 6 months and leisure involves sitting in a super-heated steam room, then rolling naked in sub zero snow whilst beating oneself with birch twigs (Birching was made illeagal in the UK decades ago!)

Dogs breath? - dog breath is so bad, perhaps human breath is just too nice for them to cope with

Raynor · Post by **Raynor** » Fri Mar 02, 2012 10:26 pm

In the same vein, who first had the idea of picking coffee beans out of a civet cat turds and making coffee with them?:o

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kopi_Luwak )

Ravenfeeder · Post by **Ravenfeeder** » Sat Mar 03, 2012 12:44 am

Why do men have nipples?

Did Adam, and Eve, have belly buttons?

Why doesn't a fridge magnet run out of power?

Why do we hang clothes up when they hang down?

PirxThePilot · Post by **PirxThePilot** » Sat Mar 03, 2012 1:18 am

Twice as cold as 0Âº C is -136.5Âº C. (Half as hot)