What did the Buddhist say to the hotdag seller?
"Make me one with everything"
Whats the hottest part of the Sun?
"page 3 "
How many psychotherapists does it take to change a lightbulb?
" just one, but the lightbulb has to want to change"
How many country and western singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
" 50 , one to change it, 49 to sing the virtues of the old one"
A horse walks into a bar, and asks the bar tender for a pint of beer, the barman asks " why the long face"
A bear walks into a bar, and slowly asks the bar tender for a pint of beer, the barman asks " why the big pause"
The M25 ( a motorway ) walks into a bar and asks for a pint, the barman say " but you're the M25", the M25 replies " so what its my lunch break. The barman servers the beer and they get to talking. After ten minutes or so a bit of pink tarmac comes into the bar, at which point the M25 takes a dive and hides under a table shaking. The barman say " why are you so scared, you're the M25, it's just a bit of road" to which the M25 replies...
"you don't understand, it's a cycle-path"
When is a door not a door?
"When its ajar"
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Roy Rogers walks into a bar and orders a burbon and gets to chatting to the man next to him. A cat walks in and starts chewing at his boots. "get offa my new boots cat" Roy says, kicking the cat away, the Cat comes back and continues chewing away, Roy kicks it away again". Finally the cat manages to remove Roys shoes from his feet and runs off with them. Roy shouts " $500 dollars to the man who brings back my boots and that darn cat"
A few hours later a man walks into the bar with a cat in one hand and a pair of boots in the other and says
"Parden me Roy, Is the cat that chewed your new shoes"
( say it aloud to yourself, it'll make sense...)
More to come................................................................
And mad cat
