whose got jokes?

Maarschalk · Post by **Maarschalk** » Mon Jul 19, 2010 3:12 pm

LOL........

:P:P:P:P:P

Maarschalk · Post by **Maarschalk** » Fri Jul 23, 2010 1:30 pm

Originally posted by Lord Kharn

Three men arrive at the Pearly Gates close to the same time. St Peter looks baffled for a moment then walks up to the three and says. "I'm sorry but we can only let one more in today, so whoever had the worst death gets in." He then points to the first man to say how he died.

Well I was minding my own business watering my plants on the third story of my apartment. I was out on the balcony you see and the railing broke while I was leaning on it. I fell but managed to grab hold of the second story balcony. For a moment I thought I was safe as a man came rushing over towards me from out of his apartment. Instead of helping me up though the crazy guy stomped on my fingers until I had to let go and I fell another story breaking my legs on the road below. I thought that surely someone would help me, but as I looked up I noticed a refrigerator falling from the 2nd story. I was crushed to death right there!

The second man shakes his head and seems angry from his death. Well I got off work early and was going to surprise my girlfriend at her apartment. Only I noticed her ex-boyfriends car parked outside. There were rumors of her cheating on me with him and this proved it for sure. So I rushed up to the house and banged on the door till she let me in. She was naked and had obviously just gotten done doing the dirty. She swore that no one was in the house and followed me while I searched everywhere. Then I noticed him, the jerk was hanging off the balcony trying to hide! So I stomped on his fingers and he fell. I was so angry that I pushed her fridge over the rail and on top of him. Just as it hit him I had a heart attack from the excitement and died.

St Peter looks at the last man.
Alright so picture this... I'm in a refrigerator...

[Edited on 17-7-2010 by Lord Kharn]

So who got in through the Heavenly Gate?

It can't be the Cheater in the refridgerator although he was relatively in heaven for a short while doing the dirty deed....LOL...

It can't be the Boyfriend who Killed a supposedly innocent man he thought was the Cheater.....and a Heart attack is not the worst way to die while being in a fridge might....LOL..

So it must be the first man minding his own bussiness. He fell, got falsely accused of Cheating got his hands crushed, his legs broken, and depending on the weight and size of the refridgerator and the weight of the Cheater in the fridge, totaly squashed......LOL...

Mackin · Post by **Mackin** » Fri Jul 23, 2010 6:19 pm

Chuck Norris believes its not butter.

@ Lord Kharn thats pearly gates joke is ace, i heard that one about 5 years ago although a slightly different!

[Edited on 7-23-2010 by Mackin]

EDIT: Thanks Maar for the welcome

but whats that about the cheese?

[Edited on 7-23-2010 by Mackin]

Maarschalk · Post by **Maarschalk** » Fri Jul 23, 2010 6:52 pm

Hi Mackin, welcome to the game and forum if I did not already done so. May I ask what happened to the cheese?....LOL...Hope to see you out there......

Bossk · Post by **Bossk** » Fri Jul 23, 2010 10:55 pm

Not bad Maars! Gota be quick for that one! lol

20 blonds walk in to a building.........you would have thought one of them would have seen it.

This next one is not mine, I can not take credit for it at all, so sorry for inflicting it on you guys:

Met a talking cat the other day. I know its a talking cat, coz when I asked if he could talk, he said "meee hooow"

BOOM BOOM!

What brown and sticky?
A stick!

There is more, but I feel ashamed for the ones above.

Bossk

Maarschalk · Post by **Maarschalk** » Sat Jul 24, 2010 3:04 am

LOL......Bossk, only Mackin Cheese lovers will get it.....the Cheese that is....LOL.....

:P:P:P:P

49rTbird · Post by **49rTbird** » Sat Jul 24, 2010 3:13 am

Hello Mackin, Welcome to the forum and the Sim. Have fun and hope to see you out there sometime.

[Edited on 7-24-2010 by thetiebers]

Maarschalk · Post by **Maarschalk** » Sat Jul 24, 2010 4:49 am

Originally posted by Mackin

[Edited on 7-23-2010 by Mackin]

EDIT: Thanks Maar for the welcome but whats that about the cheese?

[Edited on 7-23-2010 by Mackin]

It is short for Macaroni and Cheese....pun intended but no insult intended. I love Macaroni and Cheese Mac'n Cheese that is...LOL...

:P

Sinbad · Post by **Sinbad** » Sat Jul 24, 2010 1:51 pm

Don't worry Mackin... now that Maars can't use a certain word he has a little difficulty in making himself understood

warsign · Post by **warsign** » Sat Jul 24, 2010 2:27 pm

Without that "certain word", he lost all communication possibilities in space...

Mackin · Post by **Mackin** » Sat Jul 24, 2010 11:18 pm

A man walks into a bar.

Ouch.

Maarschalk · Post by **Maarschalk** » Sun Jul 25, 2010 12:11 am

LOL.......where the lights out?.....

:P:P:P:P

tk7223 · Post by **tk7223** » Sun Jul 25, 2010 11:09 pm

OK...here's my own WoW joke(as told by my Troll toon):

How many gnomes does it take to light a torch?

Dunno, cuz they keep running away screamming and smoking before I can grab my torch!

Maarschalk · Post by **Maarschalk** » Mon Jul 26, 2010 12:57 pm

LOL.......

:P:P:P:P

Maarschalk · Post by **Maarschalk** » Mon Apr 04, 2011 4:09 am

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.

Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst place....

SeeJay · Post by **SeeJay** » Mon Apr 04, 2011 6:02 am

ROFLMAO. Just excellent!:D

GORF · Post by **GORF** » Mon Apr 04, 2011 2:45 pm

ja ja

Busch · Post by **Busch** » Mon Apr 04, 2011 11:52 pm

Offered in honor of Bravehart

Oh, the Guiness was spilt on the bar room floor;
The bar was closed for the night.
The little grey mouse crept out of his hole,
And sat in the pale moon light.
Oh, he licked all the suds from the bar room floor,
As on his haunches he sat.
And all night long, you could hear him roar,
"BRING ON THE GOD DAMNED CAT!!!"

Maarschalk · Post by **Maarschalk** » Tue Apr 05, 2011 2:26 am

Thanks Oasis and Seejay, actually got that one e-mailed to me from my daughter at MIT.......